bubbles

while having an affair with my bed on sunday [i was sick :(], i realized that it has been eight years.

to those who know me, more or less alam na nila kung anong ibig kong sabihin [with matching kutos pa yan]. to those who don’t, wag kayong mag-alala, hindi kawalan kung ano man ang sinasabi ko.

whoever said that moving on is just a walk in the park eh malamang nakapag-move on ng bonggang bongga! and i’m not just talking about relationships ha.

to physically move on from an old place to a new one isn’t that easy. ang mag-move on from losing a loved one, mahirap din. to move from something that’s beyond your character, hindi rin madili.

obviously, it’s taking me a while to move on. hello, nabilang ko nga kung ilang taon na eh. may days na every minute detail naaalala ko, but there are more days when everything seems vague already.

could it be that i have indeed moved on but i just refuse to accept it? or maybe naghihintay ako kapalit na pangyayari or something, para lang matakpan ang mga alaala ng kahapon? [naks!]

sa bagay, maaari. kasi katulad ngayon–i’m trying to ‘move on’ from certain situations because, well, it just can’t happen. pero medyo mahirap gawin kasi walang ibang umaaliw sa karakter ko, whether tao man o mga pangyayari. sabi nga ng kaibigan kong bading, kalerkey!

i suppose it’s okay to look back at the past–not so much as to dwell on it–but more on learning from it. besides, naniniwala ako na your past makes up a chunk of what you are at present, and what you can be in the future.

or better yet, just make new memories right?

hay goodluck tiny, goodluck.

ugh, i’m such a sucker for best friends stories. you know the drill. he loves her but she loves someone else or vise-versa? stories that reek of unrequited love; the very reason for songs like “a friend of mine”, “on my own”, “you’re in love”– i could go on and on.

just yesterday i saw “close to you”, bea alonzo and john lloyd cruz’ own best friend story. it’s no different from any other unrequited love stories, yet i’m still hooked like i was seeing it for the first time. and mind you, it’s a Tagalog film.

also up there in my list of unrequited/BFF love stories: “Some Kind of Wonderful” [i can't afford to have you hate me Keith, because the only thing that i care about in this God damn life are me, my drums, and you...], “Sixteen Candles” [Jake Ryan: make a wish/Samantha Baker: it already came true], “St. Elmo’s Fire” [i am hopelessly, desperately and completely in love with you], “Secret Admirer” [you may never know who i am, but that hasn't stopped you from giving me the best gift i've ever known...idiot.]… at sige na nga! “Labs Kita, Okay Ka Lang” [oo, jolens-marvin itey! KAIBIGAN.MO.LANG.AKO!] and “Wala Na Bang Pag-ibig” [solid angelu-bobby fan]. hehe.

and yes, i’ve had my own share of BFF stories also. oo, nagapaka-Eponine ako for a significant part of my college/work life, pining for that one person whom i thought was my best friend…whom i thought was THE one.

turns out he wasn’t–on both accounts. sure, sure… he was a good friend. but looking back, he just needed someone to listen to his stories and heartaches. come to think of it, i couldn’t remember a time when he actually asked how i was. hmm. oo nga no?

he’s married now with two kids. we keep in touch once in a while, and when we do talk i smile at myself thinking, talaga lang tiny?

i blame young love, my weakness for BFF stories, and plead temporary insanity